Gremlins.
Normally when I work out I like to watch television at the same time. Two Sundays ago I watched the greatest movie of all-- The Goonies. This week it was Gremlins 2. It's been a while since I watched that movie and today I couldn't get over how fucked up the movie was. I couldn't get over the fact that it was something kids could get watched. Like whoever came up with the idea for the 2nd movie must have smoked some serious shit to make the movie they did.
I started watching at the part where they're in some animal testing lab, creating some of the most cutting edge potions that transform the animal into whatever the potion is for. So of course, those crazy gremlins take over and start drinking these kool-aid coloured concoctions. One gremlin drinks a blue potion with a lightning bolt and turns into a bolt of electricity. Another drinks a liquid with a bat on it and then it grows wings. Some insane gremlin scientist, with a proper brit accent, goes and injects him with a sun blocking liquid and so the bat-gremlin is able to fly out of the building leaving a Batman symbol behind (we see the Brit again later on in the movie, wielding a pistol and shooting at random gremlins). The last transformation I remember is of the gremlin that drank from a beaker with a spider symbol. No it didn't turn into Spiderman, but it grew 6 additional nasty legs. Somehow in all this commotion, the movie cuts out and Hulk Hogan is threatening Gremlins because they've put on some 1950's nudie movie instead.
The most disturbing part of all of this was the buxom super sexed up female gremlin version of Marilyn Monroe. With done up green hair, pouty red lips, calves of steel and in a glittery Tina Turner dress and pumps, this little freak of nature is constantly after one of the human-male characters. The movie ends with the CEO of the building saying to this poor soul, "Just keep your pants on we'll get to you eventually". I let out a big uh-oh as the scene changed to the top floor bathroom with the man sitting on the counter, lipstick kisses all over his face, as the buxom gremlin is walking towards him in a white wedding gown. Like WTF? The scene ends with him shrugging his shoulders and sliding down to greet his new wife. I don't want to think about how they fucking consummate the marriage.
I can't believe we were allowed to watch this when we were children. What happened between the first and second movie? It went from crazy gremlin attack on little town to crazy, over ambitious, sexed up gremlins who sing New York, New York that go and take over an office tower?
Gizmo. Aww so cute.
I started watching at the part where they're in some animal testing lab, creating some of the most cutting edge potions that transform the animal into whatever the potion is for. So of course, those crazy gremlins take over and start drinking these kool-aid coloured concoctions. One gremlin drinks a blue potion with a lightning bolt and turns into a bolt of electricity. Another drinks a liquid with a bat on it and then it grows wings. Some insane gremlin scientist, with a proper brit accent, goes and injects him with a sun blocking liquid and so the bat-gremlin is able to fly out of the building leaving a Batman symbol behind (we see the Brit again later on in the movie, wielding a pistol and shooting at random gremlins). The last transformation I remember is of the gremlin that drank from a beaker with a spider symbol. No it didn't turn into Spiderman, but it grew 6 additional nasty legs. Somehow in all this commotion, the movie cuts out and Hulk Hogan is threatening Gremlins because they've put on some 1950's nudie movie instead.
The most disturbing part of all of this was the buxom super sexed up female gremlin version of Marilyn Monroe. With done up green hair, pouty red lips, calves of steel and in a glittery Tina Turner dress and pumps, this little freak of nature is constantly after one of the human-male characters. The movie ends with the CEO of the building saying to this poor soul, "Just keep your pants on we'll get to you eventually". I let out a big uh-oh as the scene changed to the top floor bathroom with the man sitting on the counter, lipstick kisses all over his face, as the buxom gremlin is walking towards him in a white wedding gown. Like WTF? The scene ends with him shrugging his shoulders and sliding down to greet his new wife. I don't want to think about how they fucking consummate the marriage.
I can't believe we were allowed to watch this when we were children. What happened between the first and second movie? It went from crazy gremlin attack on little town to crazy, over ambitious, sexed up gremlins who sing New York, New York that go and take over an office tower?
Gizmo. Aww so cute.
posted by Miss Pow @ 9:12 p.m.
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