Flat line on the Love line

Once again, I’m sitting in Newark (the source of much pain and anguish), waiting to board my Toronto bound flight for what will hopefully be my last trip to this god forsaken place. Yes a little wishful thinking—of course you and I both know that I’m probably not finished here, and I will have to come back at least half a dozen times. I can’t say I haven’t grown used to free HBO, watching the Sopranos, the slightly warmer weather than back home, taking my pick of which car I want to drive this week, and eating really good food. However, what I still can’t get over is the sheer number of commercials for online dating on every single channel offered here. In Toronto, sometimes you might see a short commercial for Lavalife, and perhaps some posters in select subway stations advertising dating services. But on the television here, practically every other commercial is an online dating commercial. “It’s okay to look” is the slogan for match.com. Running a variety of adverts—animated shorts, testimonials, and celebrity endorsements from Dr. Phil telling the single population watching prime time television that it’s okay to sign up and check out the other fish in the sea. Let me reiterate: Dr. Phil is telling people that it’s okay to look. Since when did a person need someone like Dr. Phil to tell them it was okay to look? Well the last statement is something I may take back.

I’ve found the people in New York and New Jersey to be a little more forward amongst each other, and a little more open, so my first assumption would have been that if there was someone you fancied, you probably played the typical courting game and be able to move with it. Perhaps that’s why there’s such a huge push to market online dating and profit from it. It would be a safe assumption to say that services like Match wants to jump into the likely large single market of New York and New Jersey, get them to simply take a look at this untapped resource, and convince them to join the online dating frenzy.

I’ve found that in my own circle of friends at home, the whole thing around online dating isn’t really talked about, save for a few individuals. It almost seems taboo to say that you’re trying online dating, and to even speak to friends or family that you’ve got an online profile and you’re checking other fish in the electronic sea is rather embarrassing to say. It’s a brilliant gimmick for match.com to coach people to just checking out the site without the pressures or expectations other online sites were selling. Statements such as, “you’ll find your soul mate here” were some of the main driving forces of other sites I saw. Besides the goal of turning a profit, why are people so eager to focus their time and energy online to meeting that special someone? Do people not try to meet other people in person anymore? What happened to those dating tips of meeting someone in the grocery store, at the bookstore, or at the gym?

Toronto has been described as one of the toughest dating markets in Canada and I believe in North America. Friends from other cities and countries have described how cold, distanced, and emotionless the men and women of Toronto are. I won’t completely agree or disagree with them, but I do hear more complaints about it than the opposite. As a quick survey and rather unfair generalization of the single population, it seems that people are more likely to retreat and hide behind their computers than to be social and actually try to converse with a person, in person! Now there are reasons such as having a fast paced, busy lifestyle that doesn’t allow the time to have a life, consequently preventing them from meeting someone the old fashioned way. Despite that, it would lead me to ask whether the person is trying to live a balanced life (I’m guilty of it too) and should perhaps work a little less and live a little more.