Joel, Free Beer, and First Class Sweetness

This past weekend has been, by far, one of the best weekends evaaaaar! And if you know me, or read my blog regularly, appears to have been a rarity lately. After working like a dog for the past few weeks, being stressed out at home and at work, things finally look to be moving up on the karma scale.

I had been waiting weeks to see the ever so wonderful Joel Plaskett Emergency perform at the Opera House. I remember when the announcement for his concert was made; I rushed down to the Horseshoe to get tickets fearing that somehow they would all be sold out in a few days only to find I was the first person, at least at that place, to get tickets. Well! Can you blame me for thinking that? Joel Plaskett has to be one of the best Canadian singer songwriters ever. For a country that turns out so many talented musicians, he is certainly one of our greatest gems who despite his seemingly shy exterior, writes songs that personify Canadian culture, and on stage is truly a performer who clearly displays his love for music and evokes the same passion in the audience. This was my third time seeing him live, although this time around was a little different because I actually got to meet him!

My friends and I planned on going to the Real Jerk for dinner and walking in we saw Peter Elkas (the freaking sexiest man alive) eating, and I immediately started to get giddy. As we were ordering Joel came in and my heart literally stopped. You would think that at 24 you would sort of grow out of this star struck behaviour but I guess I still haven’t! I’m not crazy I swear (which probably could be debated if you read my Joel Plaskett experience at the Si Vous Play concert back in October :S ) , but for someone who lives and breathes music, I’m always in awe when I see or meet musicians who I highly respect. When we left the restaurant, he was behind us and so I turned around and began to speak to him. He’s an incredibly friendly and down to earth person, however, my only regret was telling him that he had food stuck in his teeth. Okay, okay! Looking back, it really was a Patricia thing to do and say but really, someone was going to tell him eventually right?


The concert was amazing. With his loyal following of fans in the audience everyone sang their hearts out while Joel sang, danced and wailed his guitar all over the stage. I got to concerts quite frequently, but rarely have I ever been to one where the crowd sings louder than the band.

Still recovering from the excitement of Saturday, I spent my Sunday volunteering with Doors Open Toronto at Steamwhistle brewery. It has to be the sweetest volunteer gig I’ve done for Doors Open. In my 4 years volunteering with the event, I’ve given tours and presentations, greeted visitors but never have I sat at table all day drinking free beer and eating popcorn. It was pretty casual and I spent my time chatting with the other volunteer, wandering around the site, and speaking with visitors about the event. At the end of the event I managed to fit in a brewery tour and drink some more Pilsner.

And today marks the absolute peak of my travels—I got to taste the luxuries that are offered to those flying in freaking first class! That’s right, my first upgrade to executive first class, and baby I don’t think I can ever go back to Economy! We’re talking about the world of FIFO, drinks and meals served in actual tableware, enough legroom to fit two people and the magical area of the plan where both earphones actually work. Actually, the newer Air Canada planes are pretty good, but I can understand why people recommend just paying the upgrade to first class when doing extremely long flights.

Things are good, and when I take a break from travelling in June I get to start looking for my condo which I’m also really excited about.

Flat line on the Love line

Once again, I’m sitting in Newark (the source of much pain and anguish), waiting to board my Toronto bound flight for what will hopefully be my last trip to this god forsaken place. Yes a little wishful thinking—of course you and I both know that I’m probably not finished here, and I will have to come back at least half a dozen times. I can’t say I haven’t grown used to free HBO, watching the Sopranos, the slightly warmer weather than back home, taking my pick of which car I want to drive this week, and eating really good food. However, what I still can’t get over is the sheer number of commercials for online dating on every single channel offered here. In Toronto, sometimes you might see a short commercial for Lavalife, and perhaps some posters in select subway stations advertising dating services. But on the television here, practically every other commercial is an online dating commercial. “It’s okay to look” is the slogan for match.com. Running a variety of adverts—animated shorts, testimonials, and celebrity endorsements from Dr. Phil telling the single population watching prime time television that it’s okay to sign up and check out the other fish in the sea. Let me reiterate: Dr. Phil is telling people that it’s okay to look. Since when did a person need someone like Dr. Phil to tell them it was okay to look? Well the last statement is something I may take back.

I’ve found the people in New York and New Jersey to be a little more forward amongst each other, and a little more open, so my first assumption would have been that if there was someone you fancied, you probably played the typical courting game and be able to move with it. Perhaps that’s why there’s such a huge push to market online dating and profit from it. It would be a safe assumption to say that services like Match wants to jump into the likely large single market of New York and New Jersey, get them to simply take a look at this untapped resource, and convince them to join the online dating frenzy.

I’ve found that in my own circle of friends at home, the whole thing around online dating isn’t really talked about, save for a few individuals. It almost seems taboo to say that you’re trying online dating, and to even speak to friends or family that you’ve got an online profile and you’re checking other fish in the electronic sea is rather embarrassing to say. It’s a brilliant gimmick for match.com to coach people to just checking out the site without the pressures or expectations other online sites were selling. Statements such as, “you’ll find your soul mate here” were some of the main driving forces of other sites I saw. Besides the goal of turning a profit, why are people so eager to focus their time and energy online to meeting that special someone? Do people not try to meet other people in person anymore? What happened to those dating tips of meeting someone in the grocery store, at the bookstore, or at the gym?

Toronto has been described as one of the toughest dating markets in Canada and I believe in North America. Friends from other cities and countries have described how cold, distanced, and emotionless the men and women of Toronto are. I won’t completely agree or disagree with them, but I do hear more complaints about it than the opposite. As a quick survey and rather unfair generalization of the single population, it seems that people are more likely to retreat and hide behind their computers than to be social and actually try to converse with a person, in person! Now there are reasons such as having a fast paced, busy lifestyle that doesn’t allow the time to have a life, consequently preventing them from meeting someone the old fashioned way. Despite that, it would lead me to ask whether the person is trying to live a balanced life (I’m guilty of it too) and should perhaps work a little less and live a little more.

Feel free to take an eyeball or two

You know, I've tried very hard to suppress any ounce of bitterness or bitchiness to 1) try and achieve my freaking new year's resolution and 2) to just keep a healthier frame of mind for myself and for people around me. But what you should also know is how bloody fucking difficult it is when there's a whole shit of retardeness around me that I can't seem to ignore or block out.

I've narrowed down, and what has been obvious since my high school days, is that the majority of my grief has a maternal root cause. If it hasn't been about what I don't have a boyfriend and why so and so in my family does, or whether it's about comparing my lack of an engagement ring to so and so's 1+ carat, I think I've had just about enough. I firmly believe I've been permanently damaged to think that I'm a failure in one tiny part of my life which has been made to seem like the sole purpose of my existence. How bad is it when the only way I can preserve my sanity is when I get to travel for work? I'm just waiting for a chance where I'm at home for more than a week so I can start looking for a fucking condo to buy. Worst case I'll go and rent.

I'm not sure what it's like for other women, but I would rather be happy alone, then to give in an settle for someone who would make me unhappy. I have been able to do so many things, learn and achieve so much in the span of 24 years, why is it that I feel like a failure? Because I have been unlucky in the ways of love, or maybe lack thereof? In this day and age, I don't think it is so easy to find someone. Our generation and the world we live in isn't the same as the one my mom dated or married in. I feel like any interaction that I have with her basically consists of why I don't have a boyfriend, interrogation to see if I'm gay, or to hear about all the other people who are my age and who are already engaged or married.

Is it not possible that now isn't the time for me? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be alone. But I'm trying to build a successful career, carry on a meaningful and fulfilling existence. If Mr.Right happens to show up I would think of that as a bonus. Having someone tell me over and over (although someone claims that they never do... somehow an incredibly short term memory)that I need to get a move on, settle down and start pumping out the fucking kids. If ever in my life I've felt more down and empty, it's listening to my mother tell me what's wrong with me.

I've come to realize how different I can be with my family, with my work colleagues and my friends. When I'm around the latter, I feel like I can be myself-- the music and art enthusiast, the growing work cynic, someone who can listen to and tell stories and jokes. I can be around people who are at least open to, what it is that makes me tick. What my life passions are. I don't have many of those friends, but shouldn't I have that with my parents at least? Contrary to my parent's belief, I'm not a complete monster, bitch or what have you. I can smile, and laugh and have intelligent conversations with people. Contrary to my parent's belief I'm happy with myself and rather focus on what I'm good at and have control over instead of dwelling on "being single and how I'm going to remedy it". The part that makes me the saddest is that although I may not be close to a lot of people, I would think that I could at least get a break from my parental units. I have to take life as it comes, and not exactly plan and schedule what's going to happen. Not that I could anyway. If I hear any more nagging, questioning or sighs at the disappointment of not being able to snag a husband I swear I'm going to fork my eyes out.

Fried Flounder Filet and Fries = Fish n’ Chips

It is 2:09 pm at Newark Liberty Airport and after a week of non-stop work, I’ve finally found a moment to write and hopefully find a little piece of mind. As already mentioned in previous posts, ever since I first flew in and out of this city I have developed a personal hate for this airport, which has since surpassed a level beyond that.

Today I decided to take it easy and avoid a third time of fighting to get security clearance so I could make my flight on time and arrived (after dropping off my rental car of course) two and a half hours early (quite literally on the dot), at 1 pm. I thought maybe I would just take a trip to the duty free, get Sam his booze, walk around and write a little before hopping onto my 3:30pm flight. However, when I arrived at the checkout, the clerk flat out said, “Oh you’re on the 3:30? But it’s been cancelled you know—actually just before you arrived. If you had come 15 minutes earlier, I could have tried to get you on the earlier flight that was also delayed. Sorry” Yes, sorry my fucking ass. How on earth was I supposed to know that only 15 minutes before I arrived at the airport my flight was to be cancelled? Am I bloody psychic? The part that gets me the most is that Continental is able to leave for Toronto at 2:55 pm—only 35 minutes before mine.

Even though I’m still 4 hours away from my flight, the only thought that ever calms me down is that I can get away from this place. Okay, so maybe never more than a weekend at a time, but it’s something about New Jersey and America that just doesn’t jive with me. Is it the terrible and poorly designed roads that drive me crazy and nearly get me killed? Yes. Is it the fact that television programming is garbage here and doesn’t offer anyone an unbiased view of the world inside and outside of America? Yes, I believe it’s that too. Is it the continuing mystery as to why I can’t pump my own gas and everything is full service here? Perhaps. But it is because even simple things have to be over complicated with retardedness such as names like fried flounder filet and fries? Oh my goodness, don’t even get me started.

Don’t get me wrong, the people who I’ve met and who I work with are fantastic. But I think it’s just me… I don’t think I could really live here. Save for the exception of San Francisco and New York City, the cultures in other cities I’ve been too are far too different, even for a born and raised Canadian, to be able to cope with the American way of life. After spending a few weeks in a single place, I’ve begun to feel homesick for CBC, ethnic diversity, and an environment that’s a little greener and a lot less industrial.

Lessons learned:
1)When flying out of Newark, it could possibly be better to fly continental
2)When driving in New Jersey you can’t turn anywhere unless it says “All Turns” and then you make these crazy U turns. It is always better to try and find a right turn at a light to go onto a road. Because it’s not easy making a right turn onto a parkway where cars are travelling at 60 miles/hour.
3)It’s good to leave a day before if you have something planned at home. By some unknown mystery or force, the world will never know there has to be cancellations where the weather is perfect from point A to point B, but somehow another airline can still depart on time.