I Love Columbus!

I’ve been in Columbus, Ohio for the past week on business. The thing that I’ve realized about this place, is that no matter how stressful Columbus projects are, the kindness and friendliness of the people always make up for it (although they can’t give me the lost years of my total lifespan).

I especially love the people of Columbus even more after I was stopped by a 30-something couple who asked me if I was a model! Me! A model?!? I burst out laughing because I was so surprised and I told them that I wasn’t. I didn’t want to be rude by laughing, but I can’t think of very many occasions where someone told me they thought I was pretty or even beautiful! All the woman could say was, “Oh you have the look. You should be a model if you’re not”.

I don’t know what it means to have the look. I watch fashion television quite frequently, and over this past season, I’ve learned that successful models are picked because they have some sort of unique look to them— not too extreme in appearance, but interesting enough that they’re different from everyone else. At least that’s how Fashion Television describes it. I guess I’m flattered, but my idea of model material isn’t exactly one of classical beauty!

In any case I love the people of Columbus even more because one couple thought I should be a model.

Recent chat with James. And Thai boxing. Somehow I feel that it's popular with the Mississauga crowd and that crazy man who frequents Chinatown in the middle of the night and enjoys kicking all of the boxes and garbage.
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James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
haha naw im hell bent on taking up muay thai

:: Patsy ::- who lit the fuse on your tampon? says:
what's that?

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
thai boxing

:: Patsy ::- who lit the fuse on your tampon? says:
omg are you serious? wow. ha ha ha, i couldn't do that

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
looks like fun, haha

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
besides when i used to train kung fu i'd always imagine myself up against a muay thai fighter ...hard to imagine if u dont know the style

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
problem is its such a competitive sport style,and with the popularity of ufc..theres bound to be tons of assmonkeys in that place

:: Patsy ::- who lit the fuse on your tampon? says:
crazies!

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
ya...i dont like those assmonkeys. i see them in the gym sometimes...kicking the bag like they know wat they're doing

:: Patsy ::- who lit the fuse on your tampon? says:
ha ha ha. crazy!!!

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
haha ya but they suck patsy!!!!

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
see i dont mind if they show off like that in public, but fuck..at least have the decency to be good. i've seen so many kids go up to that bag...cuz like its right in the middle of the weight room u see and toss out a flimsy ass..go nowhere roundhouse that just make a loud slap noise

James says: WRX me gotdamnit... says:
get the fuck out!!!!!!

:: Patsy ::- who lit the fuse on your tampon? says:
bha ha ha

Honk if you like bangs

The honest to God truth is that I love having bangs. I haven't yet quite felt the need to grow them out and phase out bangs, because it's something simple that makes me look different. However, my parents don't feel the same way and this morning I had an earful of yelling from my mother who was trying to set me straight about the way I look. "When will you listen? Why is that you have so many people telling you not to cut it and you cut your bangs anyway?" I think it was too early in the morning so I just sat there and tried to tune her out.

I wanted to ask her, "well why don't you just get over it? It's such a small thing. Why not just say okay you got your bangs cut?" Why does it always have to blow up into a huge fight? I'm always so jealous of those people whose parents are supportive of everything they do. Whether they want to go study abroad, move away for work, or pick a non-conventional career, their parents stand by them trusting, and at least offer non-yelling constructive criticism, about their choices. Why can't mine be like that? I know my mother is ashamed to be seen with me because I don't look, or act like my sister, her friends' daughters or my cousins. It's a given and I don't care. What I do care about is how low it makes me feel, and that everything else I've accomplished and been successful at doesn't matter. Is it because if one of her random acquaintances were to see me they wouldn't know that I was a successful engineer but rather they'd see some ugly girl who can't speak Chinese and probably can't do any of the other stuff Chinese girls are supposed to do?

I don't think a lot of people understand why very often I don't like the Chinese culture. It's always about looks first, everything else doesn't matter. It's about how other people perceive you instead of what you think of yourself. It's about uniformity rather than being unique. How does a person try to explain to their parents that something as simple as bangs helps them achieve the image that they want? They're bangs for godsake. Is it because my mother is afraid I'll never find anyone because of the way I look? Well I'm always afraid about that, but maybe if I find someone who is attracted to the way I look, that'll be the kind of person that I want to be with?