I'm Your Villain

I'm in love with the new Franz Ferdinand album... but this song is one of my favs!

I'm Your Villain

You toss in a word
I'm your villain
I see the passion emergeI'm your villain
But serious
You're so serious
Like a waiter
Hating the rich
But taking their tips

If I could laugh
I'd love you
If I could smile at anything you said
We could be laughing lovers
I think you'd prefer to be miserable instead
If I could love I'd love you
If I could love like anybody else

I know what I am
I'm your villain
I don't give a damn if
I'm your villain
Because serious
You're so serious
But I've got ready salted
Ready on your belly
If you want to have fun

See you later

The H&M Factor

I went shopping at the newly opened H &M today to look for a nice turtle neck sweater to wear to tonight's Alumni Dinner and Dance. I felt out of place half of the time because I knew I could be more creative than the trash of Mississauga (and I do not mean the less fortunate in terms of wealth, although if you saw these people you'd probably consider them less fortunate in other ways) and the other half of the time I felt insanely out of place for not being stylish enough because of the other half of the people shopping there. It must have been at the opening yesterday when those incredibly stylish women of Mississauga decided to break out of their homes and actually show their faces in a mall in the suburbs. These specimens are those Ashlee Simpson look-a-likes you typically see shopping downtown. It occurred to me this morning that their stylishness could be attributed to the fact that they enjoy shopping with their mothers and their mother's credit cards and that H & M does such a good job of marketing easy build-your-own outfits at moderately high prices for their low end quality.

As I was standing in line for the changerooms, there was this mother-daughter duo in front of me, and the daughter looked like a fricking model. She had to be nearly 6' and was just beautiful. Half the store was filled with dolled up women with faces with makeup perfectly applied and dressed in the latest fashion. I felt inadequate and even frumpy!!! So maybe it's no surprise that guy's don't really look at me. Look at what I'm competing with! I'd rather be make-up free, wear second hand stuff, and eventually clothing I've made myself, while these trophy women roam around snatching everyone up with their H&M wardrobe. Afterall, who wouldn't want to date that 6' model bedeckled in sequins and lacey stuff?

I've spent a long time convincing myself that I have a unique style and that it's better to be original than a store mannequin, but perhaps I should stop critizing women like the ones who shop at H&M. Who am I to argue against the fashion principles of women who certainly have been successful at looking good even if it is the marketing giants that make us all think we need to want to look like that.

No Fucking Turkey for you.

It's 10:00 am on Saturday morning, and I'm thinking, "what the fuck, why am I up so early?" And the honest truth is that I have no bloody idea why. Living at home has taken a toll on me, and I really think I have lost my mind. I'd say about half the time I think how lucky I am to still benefit from the conveniences of living at home-- food, no rent, and home is close to work. Then for the other half of the time, I want to point a gun to my head so that I don't have to stay at home anymore. Well I could just as easily drive away, or move out, but the gun scenario creeps up first.

This morning I was sleeping soundly, and after a hectic week at work and a week were I didn't sleep too well, all I wanted to do was sleep in. Fucking hell, I didn't. All morning all I could hear was talking. Not quiet talking, but loud talking. Then there was the bit where my mum came into my room and was asking me if I could go with her to the supermarket to buy a turkey. Groggily I said yes and then fell asleep again. After goodness knows how long she came back in and was yelling for me to get up. I told her that I was and that I would go with her. Then she started screaming at me saying that she didn't need me to go because I would take too long to get ready. My question for her was why she didn't buy a turkey earlier. I believe they have a habit of selling out during Thanksgiving weekend. That really pissed her off. Anyway, I didn't feel like eating breakfast so how long would it really take? I dunno, like 15 minutes? So I got dressed and was washing up with my 15 minutes when I hear her putting on her shoes and getting her keys. And all I could do was plead, "Just 5 more minutes!". Her reply? "Yeah you've got to eat and I'm not going to wait that long." She wouldn't believe me that I only needed 5 more minutes. "JUST 5 MORE MINUTES!!!" And then she was out the door.

As much as I love my mother, most of the time I feel like she's on crack. I can't understand the way she thinks, and when I try I normally get angry or it ends with her screaming, "oh you think you're so smart eh? Why don't you just move out?" I think worst moment was when she was screaming at me because I WAS thinking about moving out. "You ungrateful bitch. It would have been better to raise a dog than raise you." And for what? Because I want to learn how to be independent? Because I want to learn how to cook and take care of myself so my future family won't starve and wear rags?

If it were that easy (as I'm trying to save up money), I think I would have a life. I would like to come home without someone yelling at me for coming home so late. I would like to be able to date. How many guys like a girl that's still living at home? I would like to wear what I want to wear and not be criticized for looking like trash (not that I dress like a slut to begin with). I would like to be in a positive environment where I can avoid people who don't listen to me and make me feel like I'm invisible when there's nothing to pick on.

Idols of Exile~ I'm in love...

It' been a while since I've gone to a concert and been completely blown away. My friend asked me if I wanted to go see Metric with him, and I thought, "Last time I saw Metric I thought it was the best show I had ever seen... so why not?!" It wasn't until we were in the car, this past Thursday night that he told me who would be opening. I thought I was going to die when he said Jason Collett! I waited anxiously at the show for Jason, and the thought of being able to see him AND with Paso Mino backing him up nearly killed me.

Finally the moment came when the Lovely Feathers had finished their set and while dismantling their gear I saw him-- Jason Collett carrying his own gear beginning to set up for his own set. I stood there, front stage centre unable to think anything intelligble beside, "Oh my fucking God that's Jason Collett". I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

Their set had to be one of the best I have ever seen. The sound, the lyrics, the music was absolutely awesome. I don't think I've ever heard a live performance so crisp. I shrieked with surprise (probably damaging my poor friend's hearing) when surprise back up singers from the Stars, Evan Cranley and Amy Millan, someone from the Stills, and Emily Haines came on stage periodically throughout the set. The sweetest part was watching his 13 year old son play back up. I clutched my heart and I couldn't believe how cool it was. Imagine yourself as a 13 year old, on stage with your dad, an indie rock God and playing to a packed house.

I also met this really cool photographer, Beth Hamil, and her husband. The two of them recently moved to Toronto from San Franciso and I had a great time talking to them as well. I can't wait to see her pictures from the show. Take a look at her stuff, she has some amazing shots.

And so to conclude my adventure, I wanted to cry as Jason Collett played his last song, but the Metric show was also good. I can't say it was as good as when I saw them at the Phoenix for Canadian Music Week, a year and a half ago, but I think that was due to all of the kiddies who were at the show. It was a scream fest with teenage girls (and even guys) screaming out to Emily Haines. Now I think I may never go to another all-ages show, but it's good to know that today's teens have the likes of the Stars, Paso Mino, Jason Collett and Metric to look up to.

Over and out!